…Where I Have Fear For No Reason

I scheduled my first post-injury lesson. Cue the butterflies. I am so nervous. Here is where I have more questions than answers, again. Seems to me this is a recurring theme. Gird your loins.

What if they make a production out of my return? I could end up on Facebook if they get crazy! What if no one notices? That could be equally upsetting. What if I have forgotten everything? It’s been two months. An eternity. I only have a year and a half of dance experience. I’m barely intermediate bronze. Can they demote me? Why do I freak out about ridiculous things? This entire post is completely crazy!
The first three months of lessons I took were in a fasted or near fasted state. Why? I was too nervous to eat. Not eating would indicate that I don’t like dancing. Not the case. I tend toward perfectionism (only child) and I want everyone, my teacher in particular, to be proud of me. Since I am never pleased with my performance, seeing others pleased is as good as it gets. Plus I enjoy tricking my own mind into making my body move in ways it thinks are impossible. It’s satisfying. Does that make sense?
My thought are with the other bloggers who have much more pressing reasons to be nervous. But today, I am having my own freak out moment.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “…Where I Have Fear For No Reason

  1. So it’s almost like entering the studio for the first time. Totally justified freak out material. My prediction is they’ll be very happy to see you but probably not over the top. You’ll be rusty but it will come back quicker than you think. It will all be fine.

    Liked by 3 people

Comments are closed.