A Return (of sorts)

Hello all. It wasn’t very nice of me to dissapear like that. My only excuse is the usual one times 10. My husband had a massive heart attack and had to have Triple Bypass. He did great throughout. I got crazy. And my daughter got crazy, too.

I suffer with chronic depression and some anxiety that has worsened over time. It’s no joke. I’ve been under a cloud for the past year with no end in sight, trying to hold it together for my daugheter, who has been having regular panic attacks since last Septemeber. It took until three days ago that I was able to relax enough and just be to think about what was going on in this corner of the world.

A lot happened and a lot didn’t. I’m kind of sad that there’s not much activity anymore. A few of the good old reads for me, but noone is quite the same. It’s ok, though. I still feel like putting my dance thoughts on here. I never expected complete anonymity. I hoped for it when I first started blogging, but I’ve moderated my thoughts enough toward the end because I figured someone would find me. I think this just might end up being a more of an anything and everything blog. I think I intended that from the beginning, but dance has been such a grounding point in my life and I “met” so many fun dancers on here that I didn’t want to clutter up their feeds with other posts. But I’m a busy person with a lot on my plate and I may need to get it all out on here.

The dance update: I continue to dance. I took off 3 months for my husband’s surgery because I just couldn’t leave him, even with him doing so well. That time was about him, not me. He doesn’t like that I dance and I felt I needed to give him his deserved attention. I’m still a Silver Smoothie. Rhythm has fallen to the wayside. I don’t have the money to progress in that style, end of story. I will be forever bronze and I’m (kind of ) coming to terms with that. I’m still with Teach. Other teachers have come and gone. There’s a new couple who spend part-time at this studio and part-time at another in the corporation. I danced some smooth heats at a MiniMatch (a small comp at one of the studios) and he is great. I plan to take lessons with him occasionally to keep up with Rhythm and possibly add Latin and Social for fun. Teach and I will focus on Smooth. I’m good with this. 😀 I also did my first Showcase (like a show dance) with Teach last month. I dance to Roxie from the movie of Chicago. It was completely out of my comfort zone and great fun. As you can see, I’ve been plowing through everything. I have no events in my future because of the good old money situation. It’s expensive to dance and I just don’t have it.

I still home school my daughter. She’s in 9th grade and I can’t believe it! I seriously considered putting her back in public school this year, not because I don’t think I can teach HS, but because of the mental health issues we’ve been facing. Home schoolers don’t get any support without paying for it, and I thought that it would be better for us both to take a break. But then her panic attacks started and she just cried about going to school and I couldn’t do it to her. So I’m stuck. I don’t enjoy homeschooling, but it’s only 4 more years. 3 if she just does it! I can do this.

So a long post to return. I won’t promise to be regular; I don’t have it in me to plan enough content for that. But I’m here and I’m reading your stories again. Sorry I missed so much. Happy dancing, all!

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